Nearly all the posts are bilingual.
Presque tous les articles sont bilingues.

English spoken. On parle français. (وكمان منفهم عربي، حبيبي)

Most of this blog's contents is subject to copyright. For instance, many of the latest illustrations I've made myself. I'm the cooperative type. If you intend to borrow some material, please contact me by leaving a comment. :-)
La plupart du contenu de ce blog est soumis aux droits d'auteurs. Par exemple, nombre des illustrations les plus récentes sont faites par moi. Je suis du genre coulant. Si vous comptez emprunter du contenu, SVP contactez-moi en laissant un commentaire. :-)

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Philornithology, Correction

Upon checking, it seems that, according to the pharmacists, there actually was a flu vaccine in Lebanon for winter 2008, but "it was all sold out as early as September". (Possibly because of the Hajj, precisely?) I remember now: this is why I couldn't get it.
One odd detail though : according to european media, "the flu vaccine was available for sale early NOVEMBER".
So... about our fine hajjis, what did they use to protect themselves, before going to mingle with the world's crowds?
If I believed in utopias, I'd recommend our Ministry of Health promptly open a nitpicking investigation about this matter. Ha ha ha, yes, good one. Like all our governors, they're far too busy studying the possible harmful effects on citizens' health of all those counterfeit films and softwares swarming our fine country. That crap is deadly, you know.
"Beware of imitations, demand the reliable original quality."
They've already used the slogan for a poster campaign about medications, so the citizens will soon recognize it.
I did say "poster campaign". They handed colorful pretty posters to all the pharmacies. That's about it.
But then, how do you spot a dangerous fake drug? No worries, good people, it's clearly explained on the poster.
It's cheaper? Nope.
The box looks different? Try again.
The pharmacist looks seedy? Missed, play another turn.
It's missing the official hologram? You're freezing! Wrong, all wrong.
I'm gonna have to tell you myself, won't I?
It's the one with pills shaped like a rifle bullet : === (__|__>
Good thing the posters are very clear and explicit. Now, that's what I call a good information campaign.
So keep your eyes peeled, both of 'em!
Ah, if only our pilgrims had gotten suspicious about those weird dagger-shaped syringes, today I wouldn't be pathetically sick.
Actually, since this morning I'm feeling better. But I love getting the sympathy. Chocolate boxes still welcome.
(Yes, the appetite's better too, how did you guess?)

Achtung FälserInen, verstehenlich? Comprende? Piratados esta dangeroso, oui? Avanti baby, let's go.
Vérification faite, il semble que, selon les pharmaciens, il y avait bien un vaccin anti-grippal au Liban pour l'hiver 2008, mais "tout a été vendu dès Septembre". (Peut-être justement à cause du Hajj?) Je me souviens maintenant : c'est pour ça que je n'ai pas pu en trouver.
Un détail curieux : selon les médias européens, "le vaccin contre la grippe a été disponible à la vente début NOVEMBRE".
Alors... nos braves hajjis, ils se sont protégés avec quoi, avant d'aller côtoyer les foules du monde?
Si je croyais aux utopies, je recommanderais que notre Ministère de la Santé ouvre promptement une enquête pointilleuse sur le sujet. Ha ha ha, oui, elle est bonne. Ils sont bien trop occupés, comme tous nos gouvernants, à étudier les possibles effets nocifs sur la santé des citoyens de tous ces films et logiciels de contrefaçon qui pullulent dans notre bon pays. C'est redoutable, ces saloperies.
"Méfiez-vous des contrefaçons, exigez la qualité fiable de l'original."
Ils ont déjà utilisé le slogan pour une campagne d'affichage sur les médicaments, les citoyens le reconnaîtront vite...
J'ai bien dit "campagne d'affichage". Ils ont distribué de belles affiches colorées à toutes les pharmacies. C'est tout.
Mais alors, à quoi reconnaît-on un faux médicament dangereux? Pas de panique, braves gens, c'est clairement expliqué sur l'affiche.
Il coûte moins cher? Non.
La boîte est différente? Perdu.
Le pharmacien a une mine patibulaire? Encore raté.
Il y manque l'hologramme officiel? Tu gèles! Faux, faux et encore faux.
Va vraiment faloir que je vous le dise, hein?
C'est celui dont les gélules sont en forme de balle de fusil : === (__|__>
Heureusement que les affiches sont bien claires et explicites. Voilà ce que j'appelle une bonne campagne d'information.
Alors, ouvrez l'œil, et le bon!
Ah, si nos pèlerins s'étaient méfiés des ces drôles de seringues en forme de poignard, aujourd'hui je ne serais pas pitoyablement malade.
En fait, depuis ce matin ça va mieux. Mais j'adore me faire plaindre. Les boîtes de chocolats sont toujours les bienvenues.
(Oui, l'appétit aussi va mieux, comment vous avez deviné?)

6 comments:

Joe Dick said...

Those flu shots are crap anyway. Maybe the elderly might benefit, but I like to keep myself as free of mercury and formaldehyde (and the other crap, but mainly those two) as possible!

Besides, don't you read Mr. X's website? The flu shots are a mind control plot.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Yes, I know, and they're very efficient too.
For as far as I can remember, I took the flu shot every year and believed that I didn't catch it that year. But just this one time that I couldn't take my yearly plot dose, my eyes have opened and I see that I have the flu. Even caught two flus, because there are several virus strands.

It's been a good while since I visited the site of Wonder Woman's #1 fan (some would say "stalker"). I expect his 3-D art to have hugely improved with digital technology since then.

Joe Dick said...

I've never had it and never had the flu. There are people who get the shot and get sick. Call me crazy but it seems pointless to get a shot for something I'm not likely to get, and from which I could easily recover if I did. I'm relatively young and in excellent health.

Maybe the Lebanese are just pussies? ;-)

That Mr. X isn't right in the head. What a freakshow. I was thinking of this guy.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Ooooh, THAT Mr X! I'm sorry, but that name's more common that I expected. Right, Mister Bond?
(Please excuse Mr Bond for not answering, he's busy surviving my escape-proof Death Trap #117, bwahahahaha!)

"Call me crazy but it seems pointless to get a shot for something I'm not likely to get"
Okay, if you insist, here goes: "You're Crazy".
Still makes sense to me, but hey, anything to please my friends.

No-no-no, you got it all wrong! We Lebanese aren't pussies. We're dicks. And not just any dicks. We, of course, are the world's biggest dicks! Whatsamattah, homie, haven't you been reading my blog at all? Get down wid' da flow, yo!

Joe Dick said...

We, of course, are the world's biggest dicks!

I thought I was the world's biggest dick!

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Never challenge a Lebanese on certain topics unless you've got plenty of time to spare...

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