Nearly all the posts are bilingual.
Presque tous les articles sont bilingues.

English spoken. On parle français. (وكمان منفهم عربي، حبيبي)

Most of this blog's contents is subject to copyright. For instance, many of the latest illustrations I've made myself. I'm the cooperative type. If you intend to borrow some material, please contact me by leaving a comment. :-)
La plupart du contenu de ce blog est soumis aux droits d'auteurs. Par exemple, nombre des illustrations les plus récentes sont faites par moi. Je suis du genre coulant. Si vous comptez emprunter du contenu, SVP contactez-moi en laissant un commentaire. :-)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Comical Condi

"Hezbollah will not recover from the Beyrouth violences", Condoleezza Rice predicted this week.
Now there's a surprise! I thought that Hezbollah already wouldn't recover in 2006 from the israeli military campaign that was to "break its spine".
Another news scoop, this time from my private crystal ball: considering that Hezbollah must have strategic food stocks, I'm calculating that if it doesn't release its two isreali prisoners and if they have to be fed, in about 300 years from now, Hezbollah will be defeated by famin after using up all its food reserves.
So, the days of "the first threat to world peace" (since Saddam's demise) are numbered. All we have to do now is for time to do its job and give victory to Western democratic freedom.
Thank you Condi! Muhammad Saeed Al-Sahhaf has some serious competition. Maybe that's why that master of live TV comedy retired, knowing he was outdone.
Among other hit albums of the Queen of Hearts and her heavy metal band these last years: "Saddam is harboring Osama", "Saddam Hussein has got Anthrax", "Mission Impossible Accomplished 2: Revanche of the Son of Bush", "Taliban Terminated", and the ever-popular "China has reconciled with Human Rights".
Don't miss their upcoming single, "Breaking Barrack". It should be hillaryous!

"Le Hezbollah ne se remettra pas des violences de Beyrouth", prédit Condoleezza Rice cette semaine.
En voilà une surprise! Je croyais que le Hezbollah déjà ne se remettrait pas en 2006 de la campagne militraire israélienne qui allait lui "briser le dos".
Autre scoop, cette fois de ma propre boule de cristal: compte tenu que le Hezbollah doit avoir des réserves stratégiques de nourriture, je calcule que s'il ne relâche pas ses deux captifs israéliens et qu'il faut nourrir ceux-ci, d'ici 300 ans environ, le Hezbollah sera vaincu par la famine lorsqu'il aura utilisé tout son stock de nourriture.
Bref, les jours sont comptés pour "la première menace pour la paix dans le monde" (la première depuis la défaite de Saddam). Il n'y a plus qu'à attendre que le temps fasse son œuvre et assure la victoire à la liberté démocratique occidentale.
Merci, Condi! Mohammed Saïd Al-Sahhaf a de la concurrence. C'est peut-être pour cela que ce maître de la comédie télévisuelle
live a pris sa retraite, se sachant surclassé.
Entre autres grands succès de la Reine de Cœur et son groupe de heavy metal ces dernières années: "Saddam héberge Oussama", "Saddam Hussein a de l'Anthrax", "Mission Impossible Accomplie 2: la revanche du fils de Bush", "le Mollah Omar est Mort Ramolli", et l'indémodable "la Chine s'est réconciliée avec les Droits de l'Homme".
Ne manquez pas leur prochain single, "Casser le Barrack". Ce devrait être hillaryant!

8 comments:

Joe Dick said...

Western democratic freedom has its bonuses.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Rea-hea-hea-hea-heaaaaaa-lly?
And how, pray tell, do free western democracies have more amusement than the fine dictatorship which MSS was a spokesman for? Check out his awesome one-man show quotes! They earned him instant worldwide worship from enthusiastic fan crowds, all the way to infidel enemy America itself.

The Taliban also knew how to enjoy life like every other man who plays soccer right after a stadium decapitation (and sometimes mistook the head and the ball, hahaha, hilarious!).

So beware of hasty stereotypes...

P.S.: Nice hat, but remember, if you smoke you won't live very old. :-)

Joe Dick said...

It's good to be the king.

Joe Dick said...

P.S.: Nice hat, but remember, if you smoke you won't live very old. :-)

Rea-hea-hea-hea-heaaaaa-lly? How much older do I want to get? I'm looking forward to Paradise. Oh, wait, I don't believe in that... Well, I'm cutting back. These days it's only after meals, and after MacGyver.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Allrighty then! :-)

Um... cutting back on what? Belief in Paradise, or smoking?
And what about after sex?
(Don't tell me you've also cut back on sex!)

The worst thing about being an atheist, is you have nothing to call out when the humping gets good. "Oh, Doubt!" just doesn't feel fitting...
BTW, can atheists get insured against "acts of God"?
[Ba-dum-BAH!]

Joe Dick said...

Hey I heard about Sleiman - if he rules as good as he makes beer, all your problems are over. Try his cream...ale:

http://www.sleeman.com/en/html/beer/sl_brands/cream/index.htm

Joe Dick said...

I still say "Oh God" etc. by the way - it's just that I'm talking to myself.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

I had figured that much, my Lord. The fact that you are ageless and your name is neither Santa nor Magorian had tipped me off.

"Yo-ho-ho, and a keg of beer!"
Yup, there are LOTS of Lebanese in Canada, and it ain't something new. :-)
And it seems the slim man is NOT gonna be a fat bastard. The few things I've heard about him so far are quite positive, albeit not miraculous. A definite improvement, for our Joe-forsaken handkerchief-sized battlefield of a country.

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