Nearly all the posts are bilingual.
Presque tous les articles sont bilingues.

English spoken. On parle français. (وكمان منفهم عربي، حبيبي)

Most of this blog's contents is subject to copyright. For instance, many of the latest illustrations I've made myself. I'm the cooperative type. If you intend to borrow some material, please contact me by leaving a comment. :-)
La plupart du contenu de ce blog est soumis aux droits d'auteurs. Par exemple, nombre des illustrations les plus récentes sont faites par moi. Je suis du genre coulant. Si vous comptez emprunter du contenu, SVP contactez-moi en laissant un commentaire. :-)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Happy Prisoners' Day!

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008, prisoners exchange between Israel and the Hezbollah.
Well, prisoners... most of the exchange was rather of the macabre kind. ["Macabre", related to the arabic "maqâber": tombs, cemetaries.] But hey, we exchange, we communicate, we reach settlements, this is all very positive, we're paving the path of Peace one slab at a time. (It's better than to "go pave the sea", as we say here to tell someone off.) In fact, a national holiday was decreed for this occasion! And I think it'll be a vacation day every year from now on.
The opportunities to rejoice for long-awaited events are many, in our happy country. We could also appoint a holiday for the date when a President was finally elected after I forget how many months/years of vacancy (in your face, Belgium!), the date when a Government was finally formed after I forget how many weeks/months, the date of the Ministry Declaration after I forget how many days/weeks of bickering, and the date a fuel-oil ship moors at last to refill the Zouk national power plant, which is under a constant ascetic fakir's diet.
When you think about it, Lebanon has plenty enough miracles to commemorate for every day of the calendar. Plus the mournings. It would make for some gas savings for the working class, and who knows? maybe even improve the quality of our fine Phoenician air.
Isn't life great? Well, I have to go now. We have this friday's feast to prepare, it's Jabberwocky Beheading Day, which ended its atrocious TV speeches. Children make Tumtum wood arrows with Jubjub feathers, and shoot them at a Bandersnatch effigy.

(8`# X
(8`# X
Mercredi 16 juillet 2008, échange de prisonniers entre Israël et le Hezbollah.
Enfin, prisonniers... la plupart de l'échange était plutôt du genre macabre.["Macabre", apparenté à l'arabe
"maqâber": tombes, cimetières.] Mais bon, on échange, on communique, on se met d'accord, tout ça c'est très positif, on pave la voie de la Paix une dalle à la fois. (C'est toujours mieux que "d'aller paver la mer", comme on dit ici pour envoyer quelqu'un sur les roses.) Au point qu'un jour de congé national a été décrété pour l'occasion! Et je crois qu'on le chômera chaque année dorénavant.
Les occasions de se réjouir pour des événements longtemps attendus ne manquent pas, dans notre joyeux pays. On pourrait aussi férier le jour de l'élection d'un Président après je ne sais combien de mois/années de vacance (la Belgique n'a pas fait mieux!), le jour de la formation d'un Gouvernement après je ne sais combien de semaines/mois, le jour de la déclaration ministérielle après je ne sais combien de jours/semaines de chamailleries, et le jour où un navire de fioul accoste enfin pour ravitailler la centrale électrique nationale de Zouk, perpétuellement au régime de fakir ascétique.
Quant on y réféchit, le Liban a largement assez de miracles à commémorer pour chaque jour du calendrier. Sans compter les deuils. Ça ferait économiser des frais d'essence aux travailleurs, et qui sait? peut-être même s'améliorer la qualité de notre bon air de Phénicie.
La vie est belle, non? Bon, je vous laisse. Il faut préparer la fête de ce vendredi, c'est le Jour de la Décapitation du Jabberwocky, qui mit fin à ses atroces discours télévisés. Les enfants font des flèches en bois de Tumtum, avec des plumes de Jubjub, et les tirent sur une effigie de Bandersnatch.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've got an idea to solve this problem - drop a gigantic atomic bomb on the place and wipe out both sides. Wait a few hundred years or however long it takes for the place to become livable again, and repopulated it with people from other parts of the world.

Joe Dick said...

That's a good idea - let's start a nuclear war that would cull the human herd or possibly wipe it out. The world would be a better place for whatever survives. Ever read The Chrysalids? Generations later people will gain gnarly mental powers - well, at least telepathy of a sort.

Chuck Norris said...

Fact: "If Chuck Norris was bored enough, he could bring instant Peace in the Middle East. With one swift roundhouse kick wiping off everybody who wants to fight! But it's not challenging enough for him to bother."

Joe Dick said...

Chuck Norris has started talking about himself in the third person. Well, if anyone can get away with it Chuck Norris can. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of those roundhouses.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

Then again, Alain Delon has been doing it, like, forever.

Humbly suggesting, by doing so, that the Chuckster might like to do the same, no doubt. :-)

"In the Inuit language, the word Alain Delon means sexual attractiveness. Women sleep with an Alain Delon photo on their loins to make them fertile. And the men rub portraits of Alain Delon on their penises to enhance their virility before marriage. Alain Delon amulets are also good luck charms when going polar bear hunting. And they work."

Anonymous said...

These people can keep killing each other, the rest of the world doesn't give a flying fuck.

Pascal [P-04referent] said...

I guess you're not talking about the Delon and Norris "who's more manly?" feud, hunh?

The rest of the world gave up long ago on people that'll readily spend decades and centuries merrily slaughtering each other in a neverending cry of rage. It does get tedious after a few eons... :-(
You've seen one anatomy spilled in slices, you've seen them all.

Even someone as stoic and patient as Nelson Mandela is starting to feel real weary about the taste of his people for fighting.

I'd rather enjoy a good flying fuck at the Mile High Club than keep ruining my mood over war-nuts. :-P
No, hazelnuts, on the other hand...

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